In a word (upright)
Being fixated on winning can make you lose what matters. Winning an argument means nothing if it breaks the relationship. For now, put protecting the relationship ahead of winning.
When it appears reversed
After a conflict, a chance to rebuild the relationship has come. Apologizing first or meeting halfway brings reconciliation faster than you think. Let past quarrels go.
A starting point through the image
In the older guidebook's illustration, The image depicts a person gathering swords as others turn away and leave.
Use Winning and losing · What remains afterward · Stepping back as a clue when considering something on your mind. A figure in the image need not represent someone of a particular age or gender; it can also symbolize a role held by you or someone around you.
Upright meaning
This reflects the difference between winning an argument and protecting a relationship or purpose. A reply that wins need not bring the result you wanted. Write what you seek first, then slowly compare continued disagreement with changing conditions and discussing again.
This position focuses on asking again about one condition you took for granted. Before rushing to decide whether it is right, return to the basis on which you judged it.
Reversed meaning
Explore an argument's aftermath and how to end it. Choose what will not continue further. Instead of increasing judgments of the other person, record settled conditions and remaining issues.
To close an argument, record only settled conditions and remaining issues, and choose a subject not to continue this time.
Love and relating to your partner
In disagreement, step away from words meant to defeat. Choose one wish you wanted understood and rephrase a blaming explanation as a request.
Consider the matter on your mind through What you discussed together and the reasons filled in by assumption. List separately what the person has actually said and the wishes you have not yet checked; this can help you choose a starting point for the next conversation.
In work and learning
Return from winning a discussion to the work's purpose. Share reasons for the decision and review conditions so people whose ideas were not chosen can join next time too.
For a current task, the perspective is to clarify Decision criteria and information not yet checked. Focus on one step you are responsible for and first agree who needs to decide what.
When this card appears in a three-card spread
In the position for support and conditions to clarify, This position asks whether the list of things to check has grown too broad. Choosing the one point needed for your current question can narrow the person or material to consult next.
In the position for a next step you choose yourself, For your next step, place one question before the decision. Record what you learned in a line, then compare the available conditions again.
For a reversed card, use its reversed meaning and action above, then revisit the conditions to check in the same position. Rather than deciding an outcome from the card's name, consider the adjacent cards and the question selected beforehand together.
One thing to take into daily life
For something you want to argue back about, write the result desired and place alternatives to continued disagreement beside it.